The post Why is Breastfeeding So Difficult? appeared first on Adoption Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby for Adoptive Mothers.

Hydration

Many would think this would be a no-brainer. Hydration is key to successful breastfeeding for so many reasons. Breastfeeding will require you to be more hydrated than you may have ever been before. Hydration not only increases your milk supply, but it helps to keep the supply steady. Staying hydrated keeps you healthy and keeps your body functioning the way it should. While you may be tempted in those early days to hydrate with coffee, it is best to stick with water, water with lemon, and drinks like Gatorade that will replenish electrolytes.

Patience

Breastfeeding does not come easy. This is especially true when an adoptive parent has had to use supplements in order to build up the ability to breastfeed their child. Not only will this take time, but breastfeeding is not always possible. It will take time for you and your child to get in sync as well, just as it would in a biological situation. Stay patient and be accepting of the fact that it will take time. It is hard for any new mom to not feel like they are failing when breastfeeding does not go exactly as planned. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself and your child the time to get a handle on things. Know that you are not a failure if breastfeeding does not work out. 

Support

Breastfeeding is a very intimate action and can help with the bonding process tremendously. However, whether a child is adopted or biological, breastfeeding does not always come easy. Even when it is easy, it is a much smoother process when you have a support system to help you along the way. When I breastfed my eldest biological son, he took to breastfeeding right away. My supply seemed good, but I was terrified as a new mom that he was not getting enough. I was able to reach out to a lactation consultant who gave me signs to look for in regards to dehydration to assure me he was getting enough nourishment. I also had a great friend who made herself available to me 24/7 in case I had questions or concerns. Having that support was invaluable. You can also find fantastic support at the “Breastfeeding the Adopted Child” forum at Adoption.com. The more support, the better.

Reassurance

I had planned to breastfeed my son for 6 months. I was determined to make it work. He latched immediately and we were off to a great start. Breastfeeding came easy and my supply came abundantly. Unfortunately, I also experienced emotions I never knew I would feel. Each time I breastfed, instead of feeling the bonding emotions most women talk about, I felt intense dread, anxiety, and depression. I later discovered that I had a condition known as D-Mer that causes depression when breastfeeding. While I tried to power through it, I had to stop breastfeeding at just 6 weeks. While I felt stable emotionally, I also felt like a failure. But I wasn’t alone; one of my close friends had to stop breastfeeding at 8 weeks due to her milk supply drying up. I hear from countless women who feel like failures as their plan to breastfeed their adopted child did not work. Having to feed your baby formula for any reason is not a failure. The key here is that you tried and that your baby is fed. Most moms are giving their all and want to do anything they can for their child. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, but it is vital to remember that it is not what makes or breaks you as an amazing mom.

The post 4 Things You Absolutely Need When Breastfeeding appeared first on Adoption Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby for Adoptive Mothers.

By now you probably feel like you have missed out on certain things by not having biological children. You have missed out on the kicking babies, the heartbeats, the growing bellies, the traditional baby showers, the delivery, etc. But the one thing I wish I would not have missed out on? Breastfeeding our adoptive son. Because like many of you, I felt I missed out on the “traditional” way of having children, but I didn’t have to miss out on this opportunity, I just was not educated about it.

It is very possible to breastfeed your adopted child.

Now, with adoptions, you may never know when you will receive your referral, so it may become more challenging to breastfeed, but it’s not impossible. In our case, we had immediate placement of our adoptive child and were there with him the moment he was born. We also knew in advance of his coming. So I could have spent the five months we knew about him preparing myself to breastfeed. But, again, I was uneducated about it.

Do plenty of your own research.

Contact your primary physician. Contact your local hospital. They may be able to provide you with the tools necessary, and a lot of hospitals can connect you with a lactation specialist. This process is going to take time and a lot of patience, which will help you in the whole parenting thing! But it is most definitely worth it. Also, give yourself a lot of credit for even trying to do it. It is no simple task. That also means, it is not for everyone. Just because I wish I would have done it does not make anyone who chooses not to breastfeed any less of a person. It is all personal preference and what you feel is best for your family.

So, why do I wish I would have done it? For starters it would have saved a lot of money. This would not be my primary reason for doing it, but it definitely would have helped on the pocket book. But I wish I would have done it for the health benefits. The nutrients a mother gives her child are irreplaceable. The fact that I could have provided what my son needed from my own body is simply a miracle to me. And the bond we could have had by the endless amounts of skin to skin contact would have been just what this mom needed. It may be that I wanted it simply because I would have had more one on one attention with my son (hey, I waited almost seven years for him), but the many benefits of breastfeeding, including lower risk of allergies, stronger bones, less risk of developing childhood cancer, reducing the risk of the child becoming obese, and the bond between mother and child, would all have been a great too!

Read more stories and join in on the adoption breastfeeding conversation through adoption forums and message boards at Adoption.com/forums. 

The post Why I Wish I Would Have Chosen To Breastfeed My Adopted Child appeared first on Adoption Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby for Adoptive Mothers.

1. It’s a commitment

I did not expect breastfeeding to be as much of the personal and family commitment it has been. I gave up the middle-of-the-night tradeoffs we had with our first child, who had formula, to breastfeed our daughter. There were nights I rocked her as she nursed for the third time that night, and I looked at my husband sleeping in bed. It was easy to be jealous and maybe a tiny bit resentful, but he always took her in the morning to play while I slept in a bit. We traded in the balance we had for a new balance with baby number two.

2. Your boobs will leak a lot.

You should expect to fly through those nursing pads during the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Breasts leak when they are engorged, when you hear a baby crying (even a random one in the mall), and even in the middle of the night. I kept an extra bra and shirt in our diaper bag in case the baby spit up on me, but it worked well for leaks, too.

3. It can really hurt the first few times.

I had read the pamphlets about breastfeeding and thought I knew what I was in for. Once my milk came in, I cried during almost every letdown those first few days. It felt like tiny needles were escaping my nipples. There are lots of nipple creams out there to relieve the soreness and protect your nipples. Use them!

4. Your baby might not adjust to bottles well.

After nine weeks drinking straight from the tap, my daughter was going to need to take a bottle at daycare. We tried seven different bottles and nipples, and she refused all of them. I even left the house so my husband could feed her. It didn’t work. I was terrified for her first day, but we lucked out. She took the bottle right away and had no trouble nursing that afternoon when I picked her up. Your baby might go on a hunger strike the first day or two at daycare. It’s normal, and they do figure it out.

5. Pumping is the worst…

The first time I set up my pump in my living room, I was so excited. Look at me! Professional mama who can do it all! I’ll pump, respond to emails, and get some paperwork done, no problem, I thought. I carefully washed each part in our kitchen sink and let them dry. By the end of my first week pumping at work, I was ready to be done. I pumped in my classroom and washed up in the staff bathroom. My parts dried behind the bag on a bookshelf behind my desk. I never felt as comfortable as I did in my own home, but pumping became part of that commitment.

6. …And you’ll pump in some really strange places.

Every mom who pumps can tell you a story of being walked in on (male coworker I had not met yet) or the strangest place they’ve pumped (office of a genocide studies professor–hello, books about Hitler). When you’re away from your baby, you’ll pump on a schedule, and it can be pretty important to stick to that schedule (see #2). Any public place will accommodate you, but the accommodations may vary from a nursing room to a press box at a football stadium. Most pumps even have vehicle power adapters so you can pump on the go, literally!

7. Adoptive moms can breastfeed.

Inducing lactation is possible! The amount of breastmilk may not be much at first, but if you are interested and committed to nursing, it is possible to breastfeed your baby. Pumping frequently before baby’s arrival can help produce milk, and the baby’s latch and suckling can help, too. There are even supplemental nursing systems to give baby formula or pumped breast milk while they are latched to your breast. Having a supportive partner is essential as adoptive breastfeeding takes patience and commitment.

8. It’s amazing for self care.

After years of fertility treatments, breastfeeding gave me a new appreciation for my body that I felt had failed me. My body could provide all the nutrition my baby needed. Something in my brain switched, and I stopped hating my body. I quit thinking about all the ways it had not worked like it was supposed to, and I started appreciating all that my body was doing for me and my baby.

9. It gets easier.

The first few weeks were full of a lot of self doubt and frustration. I cried a lot. So did my daughter. Once we settled into a routine, breastfeeding became easier. She was bigger and could nurse while I wore her in a carrier. I felt more comfortable nursing in public without the nursing tent/cover. Letdown didn’t hurt as much, and I even stopped feeling it. We figured out how to breastfeed lying side by side, while she stood, and even while she played. It became part of our relationship, something that was just for the two of us.

The post 9 Totally True Facts About Breastfeeding appeared first on Adoption Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby for Adoptive Mothers.

It’s up to you to decide if you want to breastfeed your adopted child.

My son was born just before 7:30 pm in a town about an hour and a half away from where we lived. When we finally got the call, our son had been born after just 20 minutes of labor. We arrived two hours after he was born.

When we got to the hospital we learned that the birth mom’s friend was encouraging her to breastfeed. She declined and was surprised that her friend suggested the idea. What they both likely realized was the beautiful bond that is created through breastfeeding. Perhaps the friend hoped that the birth mom would change her mind.

When we adopted, I didn’t even realize that breastfeeding was a possibility for me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered. Now I’m asking myself why I never learned more about it at the time. Especially since it could be such a wonderful option for someone who has never experienced the intimacy of pregnancy and birth.

Maybe the reason is because I wondered what kind of response I would get from other people. Would I get uninformed opinions and judgements? Would I feel like an imposter because I wasn’t the one who gave birth? Would my body cooperate since I haven’t seen it cooperate through 11 years of infertility?

Since that time, I have done some research and have learned a few things about how to breastfeed an adopted child.

Breastfeeding your adopted child is about nurturing your relationship.

Obviously when someone says breastfeeding you think of nourishment. And the relational aspects are a welcomed bonus. But when breastfeeding an adopted child, food supply must be secondary. Because the reality is that you may or may not be able to produce enough milk or even any milk.

It’s a good idea to prepare your body to breastfeed your adopted child in advance (if possible).

You should prepare because you won’t have pregnancy hormones that allow milk production to happen naturally. For you, milk production will happen as a result of baby continually sucking over a long period of time. If you want milk to come in prior to baby’s arrival, then you can simulate this on your own.

Many choose to use a hospital grade breast pump at least eight times a day for several weeks. However, the same results can be achieved through repeated hand massage or help from your significant other. I personally would prefer to use a breast pump because it seems like it would be more precise and effective. However, the research does indicate that this isn’t necessarily the case. It’s more about personal preference.

Using a Supplemental Nursing System while breastfeeding is an excellent way to get adequate nourishment to your baby.

As mentioned before, some adoptive mothers may or may not be able to produce enough milk. But that doesn’t mean you need to stop breastfeeding or use bottles. (Using bottles along with breastfeeding is not recommended as it might confuse the baby and result in the baby rejecting the breast over time.)

A nursing system allows the baby to receive formula through a very small tube at the breast while at the same time receiving whatever milk supply you are able to provide.

This can be especially helpful if there was no time in advance to prepare for breastfeeding.

Lastly, having the support of your significant other is important when it comes to breastfeeding an adopted child.

When moms have support research shows that more continue with it through the challenges. Like with any other kind of support, joy has a chance to increase when you feel understood and when your experiences are celebrated.

Reflecting on all this has made me wish I had breastfed my son. I hope that one day I will have the opportunity to experience it. When considering breastfeeding, do what’s best for you and your child. That’s what matters most.

You can join in on the adoption discussion by going to Adoption.com/forums to find adoption boards and forums. Did you breastfeed your adopted child? Let us know in the comments!

The post How To Breastfeed Your Adopted Child appeared first on Adoption Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby for Adoptive Mothers.